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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?